Sunday, November 11, 2012

From the Pit of Despair God Saved Me

Where do I start, I’ve been pondering this for a couple days.  My testimony is very long and very detailed.   I have been through so very much and God has saved me time and time again from much, including myself.

Growing up I felt very unwanted and very unloved.  Not just unloved but as though I were not lovable.  I was haunted horribly by words of unworthiness.  There was little peace, little joy and a whole lot of turmoil surrounding my home life.

In my teen years I was tossed from one place to another, but also in my younger years.  I was in and out of my dad’s home, my grandparents’ home as well as several foster/receiving homes.   My dad divorced my mother when I was 9 and his third wife when I was 13.  I was not allowed to see my mom after age 11 (unless I snuck visits or calls to her).  But I did go to live with her for a summer when I was 15 (more about that another share).  The foster/receiving homes were no better than my dad’s home where I was physically abused, verbally abused, neglected and overall treated badly and as an inconvenience.

In high school I knew and associated with the “populars” at the beginning and was living with my Grandparents who were affluent, living in a nice suburban Seattle home.  But that changed a bit because of being tossed about and others judging me because of it.  I ended up kind of middle of the road, knowing and hanging out with many; the popular’s, nerds, Goth’s, etc…   My first high school boyfriend caused me to really feel very different from everyone else.  He had little understanding or compassion for what I was going through because it was not his reality.  And honestly, I was different, or at least my life was very different from most that I hung out with. When he stopped dating me I fell out of the popular group because of things he shared with them which caused me to feel more like an outcast.  It felt as though there was no place for me to go where I could feel accepted, normal, wanted, loved, safe…  I just didn’t fit into other peoples “norm”.

One night I got off work late at my telemarketing job.  It was a school night and I was scared to ride the bus home and walk the rest of the way alone.  I called my dad nervously asking if he could come and get me, big mistake!  He did but not without total wrath coming my way.

Once we got home I went straight to my bedroom and closed the door.  I had not had any dinner but wasn’t about to go get any or even go to the bathroom until after my dad had gone to bed, I was just too scared.  Even typing this right now brings back those tense feelings of absolute fear.  I did not want to anger him any further by my presence.

My attempt to hide away in my room failed me.  My dad came crashing into my room, he was not done letting me know how horrible I was, how he wished I was dead, etc…  I cried and yelled back out of absolute hurt which was my second mistake.   I was sitting on my bed and he came at me and grabbed my neck squeezed and shook me while still yelling profanities and hatred at me.  He had hit me before but this night I thought he was going to kill me.  There was no one to protect me, no one to stop him from hurting me or screaming horrible things at me.  I was stuck having to endure the hate that was lashed out on me.

My dad finally pulled away and yelled some more at me.  I backed up on my bed away from his reach.  As I sat there being verbally battered, sobbing, I could barely see through the tears and all I could think was I’d be better off dead.  The more he yelled at me the more the thought of dying overpowered everything else; reason, will...  I had a brand new box of diet pills on my table next to my bed and back then diet pills were the really strong stuff that could cause a heart attack easily.  I picked it up, cracked the box open and one by one popped the entire box of pills into my mouth with my dad watching.  He walked out of the room and simply said “I hope you die B----“.

I cried and cried and cried and then felt a sense of desperation and more fear come over me, “what had I just done!?”  I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep knowing that I was stuck in my room fearful of leaving it to endure more from my dad.  I was emotionally spent and could not handle any more from him.

Within a short period of time I started experiencing the worst pain I could imagine.  It was a pain that I can’t describe but every bit of me hurt, literally every part of my body.  It hurt to cry, it hurt to close my eyes, it to breathe, to move, it hurt to do pretty much anything.  Blackness started to surround me and an unbelievable fear overcame me.   I wanted to go to my dad and ask him to take me to the hospital but I knew he wouldn’t, I didn’t know who to call or what to do.  I wanted to be free from the emotional pain that I had endured pretty much since I was born.  But I also realized I really didn’t want to die.  I feared God, I had a knowing that suicide was bad and not my right to do.  But, I was desperate for something to change, to escape and for better than what I was experiencing.

As I lay there on my bed I started to see demons coming at me, I literally saw what is referred to in the Bible as the gnashing of teeth.  The demons were coming at me one after another, clawing at me.  I was hearing negative words telling me I was worthless, and “You’ve done it now!”,  “It’s too late, you did it, you’re dying and no one will save you”.  I hurt so bad that it hurt to think, it hurt to try, I just hurt!

But somewhere within me in the midst of this horrid pain and anguish I was able to cry out to God a quick prayer.  I asked God to show me that He was there, to spare my life and to help me to wake up in the morning.  I told him how sorry I was and asked Him to show me that He loved me and that I was made for something greater than what I was going through.  That was the last thing I remember.

6:00-am my alarm went off, I was alive!!!  I was alive but I felt like death.  I got myself ready for school and walked the 3 steep hilly miles to my school.  I was alive, God saved me but He let me feel every bit of what I did.  I suffered greatly that day but I was alive.  Through my foggy hurting head I had a message running through my mind that I was indeed meant for something greater than what I was and had endured.

I did not feel loved or cared for by anyone.  But God proved to me that I was loved; I was loved and wanted by Him.  I couldn’t see Him or touch Him but I knew He was there, watching over me.  I had a sense that I had a purpose, He wanted & loved me and would one day show me what that purpose was.

Unfortunately, weakness over took me again two more times.  Again, swallowing pills, calling friends crying out to them asking for help, but getting “you’re so stupid, I can’t believe you did that” and click, hung up on.  But I was able to throw up the pills not too long after tossing them down.  And repenting all night long, again crying out to God for what I had done and begging Him to show me mercy and that He loved and wanted me.

It took several years to really see my purpose, to see my worth, to know I was loved and not just a little bit but tremendously.  I look back on those times and see such a sad, sad girl and it breaks my heart.   That little girl though met Jesus Christ when she was 4 years old.  That little girl threw a royal red-headed tantrum for a Bible so that she could know Jesus and refused to leave a church foyer until she got that Bible.  This 44 yr old woman still has that Bible which was given to me on Easter Sunday in 1971.  That Jesus and that Bible placed within me something greater than what I was enduring.  It placed within me a will to live, a will to find out what I was meant for and a desire to one day fully submit my life to Him.

In the last 18 years I have experienced tremendous grown as a believer.   But that growth has been even greater over the past 12 years.  I still have down days; I’m not perfect, nor pretend to be for appearance sake.  But I do know that I am being perfected one day at a time and that a perfect God, a perfect Savior resides within me.  I have grown in my faith, in my love for God, in learning to honor my parents regardless of how they treated me.  And also, in learning of God’s great love for me.  Each of these growth moments were huge turning points for me and have impacted me greatly.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life and choices I regret.  But I belong to a God who is so much greater than my mistakes and regrets, His mercy & goodness towards me have been great.  And as I type the fear that I felt at the beginning of this has dissipated by a heart flooded with love for God.  My life is His and my greatest desire is to be a servant used by Him to help deliver His loving kindness & joy to others.

Hell tried to take me, but my God said “NO, YOU CANNOT HAVE HER!”

God gave me free will to choose life or choose death.  In my desperation I thought death would be better but in the midst of attempting death I realized that I would never get away from myself (the lies in my mind) that I would suffer those thoughts eternally.  I knew deep down that I did not want to be separated from God; from Jesus who I called out to since I was a little girl.  At my 11th hour I cried out to Him, and in return He heard my cry and answered me with yet another chance to live.

No matter your circumstance there is a God who loves you.  He is jealous for you, and is there for you and with you when you call out to Him.  You may not see that He is there right away but in time He will show you that He has always been there, through it all.  I don’t blame God for the life I had as a child, its not His fault, it was simply life and the choices of others that influenced the course of my early life.  My life has not been easy at all, it has been a fight but I know He won’t waste one bit of it either.

I realized that the greater purpose I was meant for is Him.  God is my greater purpose, eternity with Him and to experience His love in this life and life eternal.  He is my greater purpose and I’ve found out that I am His!  I have experienced such an intense sense of love and a joy I never knew I could experience.  Once you’ve experienced this, you are never the same and nothing less than this will satisfy.  Pursue hard after Him and I guarantee you won’t regret it!

I have my own family now, I have three amazing kids who bless my life in ways I could have never imagined and nearly didn’t experience.  I’ve been given the opportunity to reach out to others with God’s hope & love.  And truly this has rocked my world so beautifully.  Because I cried out, I’ve been able to experience things, moments, places, people… and His love demonstrated in the most incredible and amazing ways.  He turned my desperate cries into blessings and continues to.

Taste and see that the Lord is good(!), blessed is the man (woman) who takes refuge in Him.  –Proverbs 34:8 

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord.  Plans not to harm you, plans to bless you.  Plans to give you a hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

May God bless your life in ways you never imagined, may you feel His intense love for you and may you know that you were and are destined for greater!

Blessings in Christ!
Tami (Tamara) Blue

Thursday, July 28, 2011

A Thorn in My Flesh

A Thorn in My Flesh
By Tamara “Tami” Blue

For years I have struggled with physical limitations and afflictions which seem to start from the top of my head all the way down to my feet. And for years I have prayed for healing from the various afflictions and pain that I deal with on a daily basis. Many do not comprehend the extent of struggle I deal with because to look at me one would think I was healthy and fully able bodied. I try not to complain too much and my mind often tries to override my body. My will is strong but fights against the reality of my physical state and often only succeeds in landing my rear grounded for several days at a time.

As I have shared some of what I am going through with a friend- she has said what I am going through is “illegal”. God love her, I thank her for her faith and desire in me being healed. But the Bible clearly indicates that God allows things which we would like to think are “illegal” or “unauthorized attacks”. We, in our natural mind can’t comprehend a loving God allowing such a thing. But this week after coming home from another doctor’s visit, I found myself crying & praying to God once again to heal my hurting body. He lovingly nudged me to open my Bible and as I flipped it open- it opened to 2 Corinthians 12 and my eyes immediately fixed on verses 7-10:

And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I’ve read this many times before but this time around it hit the hurt in my mind over the struggle and shed great light. God has allowed for me to be buffeted me for purpose. Again, the mind wants to override this thought because it would seem that I am accepting this position and letting go of faith in my healing, I’m not. Another such person in the Bible would be Jacob-

Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day. Now when He saw that He did not prevail against him, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob’s hip was out of joint as He wrestled with him. And He said, “Let Me go, for the day breaks.” But he said, “I will not let You go unless You bless me!” –Genesis 32:24-26

Throughout the Bible there are those whose speech was impaired, they suffered physical affliction; they suffered great persecution and countless challenges. And, what about the book of Job… I recognize that I’m not promised healing in this lifetime. I am though promised that God will never leave me, nor forsake me, that I am chosen, called and destined as a follower of Christ and a daughter of the Most High!

My friend and I are similar in our desire that none should struggle affliction. There are times when God fires my faith so strong for the healing of others. He has woken me up at night to pray, alerted my spirit during the day and given me clear words to deliver of assured healing. And, praise be to God- I have been witness to His very words about promised healing coming to pass in others’ lives. But still to this day I am not yet healed and as time has progressed so has the onset of more afflictions. I am yet again facing two surgeries which bring the hope of healing yet also a warning that it may not.

Regardless of the challenges I face, possible surgeries and or a life time of struggle, affliction and pain, I need to accept God’s purpose in allowing this. And, I need to accept that I may never be completely healed while alive in this body. I am learning that although it does not feel okay physically and at times even mentally, it is because God’s grace is sufficient to get me through. Because I am weak, it allows Him to be strong. I cannot depend upon my own strength to succeed in His purposes; I am completely reliant upon Him. Everything I do or He sets me to do is dependent upon His strength to help me accomplish the tasks He’s given.

Long ago I made the vow to God that my life was His to use as He wished, my life was not my own. God has held me to that promise and it becomes more and more evident as time goes on. It is hard for me to sit too long, stand for very long, bend this way or that way, hard for me to use my arms, hands and even hold my head up for long periods… And, even travel is difficult and yet it is one of the biggest desires of my heart. Because of this it makes it difficult for me to hold down a regular full time job outside of the home. I am also limited in the activities that I do and or participate in. It is at times very frustrating for someone with a very active mind such as me. Mentally, I am a can do person. Mentally, when someone says to me I can’t- I like to prove, I can. I am persistent in some things but am learning to let go in others. I have proven to myself (by God’s grace) that I can do and can accomplish great things. But the moment I step outside of His timing and or will- He shows me “I can’t” through the thorn(s) in my flesh.

I realized that He is teaching me the art of “suffering well” and yet still stand on and in faith and in His promises for my life, and for the lives of others. I am realizing that though I am not healed in body- He has allowed me to be a conduit, a vessel in which He delivers healing to others. And I am reminded of many great evangelists, prophets, teachers… that have also served God in spite of the buffeting of affliction in their own bodies. I am reminded of the great exploits they did in partnership with God and via His grace & strength, not their own.

Might have God known something that maybe I didn’t? Could these afflictions actually be a source of salvation to my own pride? Might I have become too proud, arrogant and or puffed up in my own flesh if my body were healthier, fit, and or more able? Could it be that though I can’t imagine myself overly proud- that God could? Could He have sent a messenger of satan to buffet me for my own benefit? It seems absurd to our natural thinking and yet God uses foolishness to confound the wise.

The area where my healing has come and continues to come is in my thinking and understanding. God is expanding my understanding and knowledge of His ways. He is teaching me the art of taking on the mind of Christ- which doesn’t always make sense to man but is perfectly logical to God, His ways and eminent knowledge. He is reminding me of who He is and who I am not via various aspects of my life and thinking. He is showing me that Paul who is considered one of the greatest apostles- suffered affliction but that He learned the art of suffering well despite the thorn in his flesh. He learned to “count it all joy” because it was small compared to the call of God on His life and to the coming glory and eternal promises.

I have known and know many people who are afflicted in one way or another who though afflicted have learned the art of suffering well and living out the call of God upon their lives despite any challenges they have or do face. I both admire them and hope to as they have- really learn the art of suffering well despite the thorns in my flesh.

Is there a thorn or are there thorns in your flesh, mind, emotions, thinking… allow God to show you His grace for your life. May the Spirit of revelation be upon you to help you understand and know the will of God for your life! Be empowered by His strength and His Word which is all sufficient.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Daily Ponderings - Set Free Through Our Judgments

Daily Ponderings – Set Free Through Our Judgments
By Tamara “Tami” Blue

We know that the Bible states that by the same measure that we judge, we will be judged (Matthew 7:1-2). In my own life I know this to be true, some of the things I have judged I am or have been also judged for. I have written and shared on one of those judgments before but again today it came to me because not only was it a previous judgment but it has become a testimony of sorts.

That judgment that I once judged is regarding Holy Spirit laughter- I once judged it as ungodly, not of God. And then one day- BAM! I got hit with it and could not stop- wave after wave of laughter. I could not stop, I was somewhat embarrassed because I felt I was making a spectacle of myself and yet I was not in control. There have been times of being overcome by Holy Spirit in wave after wave of laughter and tears sweeping over me- so healing and so freeing and yet, so contrary to my previous beliefs. God being the wonderful amazing God that he is took me into a new thing and into a new dimension of who He is and who I’m not.

Since that first experience I’ve been overcome several times by Holy Spirit laughter and a fire over my body (which literally can be felt by others). And, yes, I have been judged harshly for it by some whose beliefs don’t allow for such a thing to be of God. It grieves me at times to be judged for this and yet I once was the person who was doing the judging, and I understand where it is coming from. I try not to be one who wishes harm or judgment on others- that Godly conviction inside of me most often prevents me from going there and overriding my mind and or emotions. But I have to admit that in this one subject I make an exception. I do wish that in this particular judgment, that those who judge me will themselves be judged for the same. Why would I wish this? Because I know personally the healing benefits and many purposes in which Holy Spirit would allow such a thing to occur. And, because I have learned much about the very thing I judged. My modesty mask has been stripped away for my own benefit and for the healing benefit of others and I praise God for it! God can use all things to His glory and for our benefit which in turns ultimately becomes of benefit to others- even our judgments. In a moment that I was not expecting it God took me from one dimension of understanding to another.

At first, I did not completely understanding and tried to rationalize it out by human reasoning. But since that time I have been overcome by His Holy Spirit on several occasions. In those times it opened up more of my understanding. He speaks so gently, so lovingly and yet even very silly to me in those moments and it reveals a new mystery of who He is to me. In those times He allows my spirit to become more sensitive and my hearing sometimes to be altered but in a marvelous revelatory way. I might hear a person mention a worry they have in that moment and God shows me how silly that worry is from His perspective. He shares his amusement with me and in that moment where I am overcome by laughter. I have been witness to watching as that person who shared the worry- all of the sudden came to a personal realization and then laughter as well, healing revelatory laughter. It’s wonderful, so joyous to be a part of this- to watch as a person relinquishes certain fears, masks or other things that had held them back.

Since the first time of being smacked upside my head with God’s silly stick- He has used my willingness to let Him have His way in and over me to bring healing to others. I now consider this one judgment- joy. He stripped away a layer that held me back from allowing Him dominion over me. He has set me free in this area so that He can use me to set others free. I have become a conduit for His fire and His joy. I take joy in being used by God in this new wonderful way. I take great joy in embracing others in a beautiful healing hug and having the joy, the fire and laughter of the Holy Spirit overcome me and spill onto the one I’m hugging, especially those who were downcast (wow, what a privilege). My prior judgment in this area has become an anointing, how mysteriously marvelous is that? God uses foolishness to confound the wise, His ways are not our ways, and they are higher, wider, deeper, and even mysteriously strange to our human reasoning.

So in conclusion people- judge me for the laughter that comes over me in the Holy Spirit; judge me for the wild, undignified outbursts of fiery laughter. I will rejoice in it because I know that our God is an incredibly just God and will use this and other things to bring us all together eventually in understanding and unity. I look forward to the day when we are all ROFLOL together with Jesus.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Be the YOU God Created YOU to Be

Be the YOU God Created YOU to Be
By Tamara “Tami” Blue

I ponder on things a lot with God. While pondering one day about two months ago a thought started stirring- about being the “you” that God created you to be. I have taken lately to telling folks- “you be you and I’ll be me and it will all be good”. What I am saying is that I cannot be you and you cannot be me and if we allow for each to be “who” God created us individually to be then things will go well for us.

We all have seen other people that we like, we like their style, the way they talk, the confidence they carry… You know those people who seem to have it all together? We want to emulate certain traits they possess thinking it will help us to be more likeable, more valuable, more interesting, maybe even more prosperous. There is no question that we as humans tend to mimic that which we are surrounded by, our parents, those who had a hand in rearing us. Our schooling has shaped the way we might think and approach life. There may have been one particular person that had great influence upon our lives and we’ve taken on some of their characteristics. This is not necessarily a bad thing; it is good to improve upon who we are especially if we have been living with negative traits. But we need to be the “us” God created “us” to be- not a cheap imitation of who He created someone else to be.

But through my life this has been at times a real challenge. Often I have felt as though I was not good enough to be the “me” that God created me to be. Growing up- most in my life seemed to have one complaint or another about me; I cried too much, I was too sensitive, my hair was red (as if that was a bad thing), I was not a boy, I wanted too much, I never seemed happy and never smiled enough, I was just like my mom, I was fat, I was stupid, etc… Rarely, did I hear a pleasant word about who I was; rarely did I hear words of affirmation or of value. It seemed that I was an inconvenience, a mistake, unwanted… This is what me as a child heard.

Those negative complaints are not the good positive makings to help a child/a person be the best they could be. Or to help me be the “me” that God created me to be. I felt I had little value, I was disliked and unwanted and even a feeling of being unlovable. From my family, to my school mates and friends, acquaintances… someone always seemed to pick out a flaw in me that they disliked.

How many others out there might have grown up feeling much the same? How many others have struggled with their identity, with who they were growing up and who they are now and who they were created to be. There is much talk about our culture having an identity crisis. I know for me through my life that has been true. But God’s still small voice inside of me always spoke the same message over and over and is the reason I am alive today; “You were created for much more than you are experiencing, I created you for greater than this”. His words to me would come at the darkest moments and be the rope that helped pull me out of the darkest pits. Those words always left an impression of being destined for greatness. His words spoken to my hurting spirit left me with a deep knowing that I was created for greatness, for His purposes which were grander than the darkness I was enduring.

Among my close friends and family now they view me as outgoing, fun loving, silly, caring, encouraging, etc… Yet, they also know that I can also be quite serious and also bold depending on the moment and situation. But in larger gatherings there is still that side of me that is shy, somewhat uncomfortable, reserved and stands at a distance watching and testing the waters. This is the part of me that is still a work in progress- the part of me that is still learning to be comfortable in my own skin and the part of me that is learning to be the “me” that God created me to be. There are aspects of me that aren’t perfect and or ideal to others still to this day. And, I still deal with insecurity at times and not always happy with the me that I am. I get nervous around new people or in situations that I am not used to and or people I don’t know. In those times I might say something that might come out oddly in my nervous attempt to make conversation. I walk away criticizing myself and feeling foolish. It is not the “me” that God created, but the “me” that the world created when I was told I was of no value, not good enough… There are still aspects of me that need to be refined and gently molded by the master creator, my Heavenly Father.

Again, as a child and even into adulthood I have been told I was/am too sensitive. This has always grated on me; I’ve always disliked this remark. I know it is truth but it does not have to be a negative. I’ve always had a knowing that I was created this way for a purpose. It is in how I function in it that can be the problem, but not that I am sensitive. Before my late teen years I was teased for having red hair. This teasing aided in me learning to really dislike my hair color. My hair color was different than most and caused me to stand out, kids made fun of it and it made me feel somewhat ostracized from the rest. But after high school something changed, people started remarking favorably in regards to my medium- auburn “red” hair. As I got into Beauty/Cosmetology school I came to realize just how rare my hair color was and how difficult it was to mimic in the salon. At a certain point I started to get many favorable remarks from men, women, older folks… It was a needed boost for this gal and helped me to appreciate one aspect of “me” that God created. Sadly though, by the time I really came to appreciate my hair color- I started noticing the first gray hair (sigh…). We must learn to appreciate certain aspects of ourselves before it’s too late, fades away and or is gone with age or by unforeseen circumstances.

There might be aspects about me that are simply the way I am created to be that others will always find fault in. But I have learned that sometimes they are also a positive and purposed. I might be too pale skinned for some, I might not have the perfect figure, I might be too sensitive at times, I might not be the most intelligent in the bunch, my grammar might not be perfect, my speech may not always be articulate, I might laugh out in joy too loud for some peoples liking, I might not dress the most tailored, elegantly, and or stylish as some, I might not have all man’s credentials & degrees that seem to be needed in order to be valued by man… I might not be what others want me to be, but that is okay. I am learning to be the “me” that God created me to be. I am learning that not only did He form me, has chosen me, that His Son died for me… but that He actually loves, values, cares about & for, wants, desires, and delights in me! He sits in Heaven and with the angels and hosts of Heaven roots me on to His upward calling. He is for me and not against me. The world may hate me, dislike me, may not be approving or affirming of me- But my God in Heaven is and that is such good news and what the gospel is all about! Certain things have helped to shape me, my ideals, and the way I am. Those things may not have all been positive but God can use all things to His glory and for our callings in Him.

I want you to know that God formed “you” before the foundations of the world (Proverbs 8:22-23;25) and also in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13;15). Not only did He have a part in creating “you” but He chose you (John 15:19). When the world say’s you are unlovely, unwanted, undesirable, not pleasing, not successful, etc… know that His Word say’s that He created you just the way you are and He has chosen you!

You are authentic, there is no one else in the world that looks like you, has the same finger prints as you, has the same moles, wrinkles, distinguishable smile, characteristics and or attributes as you! You are unique, divinely created and there will ever only be one you. How incredible is that? I cannot be you, and you cannot be me. We can pretend for a while and try to mimic another but eventually it will fail because we are not being the true us that we were created to be. We will only become a cheap imitation of someone else and cheapen what God has created and chosen to be unique, unlike any other. Look beyond the faults you see in yourself, look beyond where you are currently in your emotions and or where you have been. Look beyond to the horizon where God sits waiting for you to discover the unique you that He created you to be. There is only one you and He is eagerly waiting for you to discover all that He created you to be.

One positive aspect of who I am as God Himself created me to be is as an Encourager/Exhorter. This is the primary gifting. I have many gifts from God, but this is my primary calling that becomes clearer over time. It is a gift that is second nature to me and something I don’t have to try hard at. So that being said, I want to encourage you today- to be the YOU that God in Heaven created YOU to be. I want to encourage you to take all the things that others say they don’t like about you- to God. Inquire of Him about those aspects of who you are. Are they who God created you to be? Seek Him, learn who you are in Him, let Him show you the unique you that He created you to be. Even in the negative statements that others make about you- you can find God’s truth about how God created you. Go to Him; let Him teach you to learn to use those aspects that others see as negative about you- to His ultimate positive use and glory.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

What Will the Remnant-Bride of Christ Look Like, Who Will They Be?

What Will the Remnant of Christ Look Like, Who Will They Be?

By Tamara “Tami” Blue

This question came to me today, “What will the Remnant of Christ look like and who will they be?” It was almost as if Holy Spirit was speaking that question to me yet answering the question at the same time. Just as quickly as the question came so did some of the answers. I was going to start out by reading my Bible but pondering that question further was so strong in my spirit that I decided to close my eyes for a moment, then grab my note pad and sit with Holy Spirit as He showed me who the Remnant would be, what they would look like and what attributes they would have…

First of all, in the dictionary Remnant means: 1) something left over; a remainder. 2) A piece of fabric remaining after the rest has been used or sold. 3) A surviving trace or vestige 4) A small surviving group of people. *Often used in the plural.

The Remnant of Christ will not be man’s false notion of greatness. They will be meek, humble, they will be despised… They will be the foolish things, the “are-not’s” of 1 Corinthians 1:27-28. They will be the ones who know that greater is it to be last than to be first. They will not be lovers of self. Though they live in the world, they know they are not of it. They are Heavenly minded people, a cluster of well-seasoned, fully ripened grapes handpicked by God Himself. They did not first choose Him but He chose them out of the things of the world to be His very own. Their affections are for Him and Him alone. They know that to love one another is to love Him. They have learned the ways of love from the author of love, Father God and the living example of love, Jesus Christ.

The Remnant of Christ is a people that have been appointed to deliver good news to the poor. They bring comfort to the brokenhearted & weary. They proclaim freedom to all who’ve been oppressed, bound and or imprisoned. They comfort the mourners. Favor is upon them not of the world but from God Himself. God’s fury against the enemy burns within them. They see beauty among the ashes. They are givers of jubilant joy, paving the way to praise and away from mourning and despair. They are as a mighty oak tree that cannot be moved. They are builders, building up that which the enemy has sought to tear down and destroy. They have a shout within them and blasts through them- “ARISE & SHINE, WAKE UP OU T OF YOUR SLUMBER FOR THE TIME HAS COME!”

The Remnant of Christ are called Saint’s, Priests, ministers of God. Yet, titles mean little to them. They once knew shame and dishonor but their God & KING has given them double portion of everlasting joy as their inheritance and they prosperous in His ways. They are lovers of what is right and true, lovers of justice. They abhor/hate robbery and wrongdoings. Those who live in darkness are jealous of them, seeking to tear them down and take them out of their way. BUT- their God & KING are jealous for them and avenges the Remnant, the Bride for they are His beloved!

They will stop at nothing short of victory in Christ united and knit together in the bonds of love firmly rooted to the ONE and only true vine. They will not waver in their devotion to God or His promises. They are hopeful, filled with grace and mercy, joy is their strength. They will have a love not their own but one that is infused into the depths of who they are by the ONE and only living God. It is a love unlike any other and radiates, draws, soothes and invites the hungry, the lost, the weary, the brokenhearted, the downcast, the rejected, the despised… all the ones that the world says have no worth. This very love that they are infused with say’s they are of great worth, they are wanted and they are loved with an eternal love. The love that they will exhibit towards one another will cause others to marvel, question, wonder… the love they have is powerful and matched only to the love they have for Christ Jesus.

The Remnant of God are not a jealous, envious or contentious cluster. They are a resolute group, their eyes are set in a steady gaze, fixed on the ONE who leads them to victory. They march in a forward march united, stepping in unison one with another. They will not allow one to be left behind, nor one to fall. The march will stop momentarily in order that all march together as ONE. They are gentle as doves, demonstrate great wisdom and are fearless as roaring lions. To die to them is gain and to live is to live for Christ and Him alone.

The Remnant of Christ are not haughty, arrogant or proud. There are no rocks stars among them, only Jesus Christ who is the Rock of their salvation. They are a caring bunch, giving to those who have need, hospitable of ONE heart and ONE mind. They see potential in all and willingly offer encouragement of each individual’s gifts, talents and callings of God. They help to shepherd others onto Christ who is the leader over them all. They’re desire is that of their Leader, that none should perish but all would taste, see and live the eternal life.

They are a people of the second chance. But not just the second chance but also, the third, fourth, fifth, sixth… chance. They are fully aware that none are deserving, all have fallen short but via the free gift of grace they have abounded much more. Sin is not their master because grace now reigns over them through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ.

These clusters, this Remnant of Christ have found each other by Divine connect. They were ones that were once alone, wandering the wilderness in search of the true, the committed, the ONES who God Himself has called, destined and linked together to form the Bride of Christ. They are as warriors outfitted with the armor of God. They stand strong and have girded their waists with truth; breastplates of righteousness; their feet are shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; in one hand they carry the shield of faith which is able to withstand any fiery dart of the wicked one. On their heads is the helmet of salvation and in the other hand they wield the sword of the spirit, which is the Word of God.

Yet, they are a Bride clothed in pure white having been washed thoroughly via the shed blood of the perfect lamb. They have spent time in Holy Spirits spa- having been scrubbed down by the Launderers soap and are sparkling white, the purest white, like snow yet even brighter- whiter, glowing, radiating, shining the way to the ONE who is truth and life. This Bride is so beloved of the Bridegroom; He takes great delight in His Remnant Bride. His love blazes for her as a burning torch. He has bestowed the best of the Heaven’s jewels upon her. Within those jewels are the many facets of the Godhead. This Remnant Bride is victorious, yet beautiful. She is valiant, yet humble and holiness shines all around her.

What will the Remnant of Christ look like and who will they be? They might be you and me. They will be men and women, children and elderly united in ONE pursuit, that of the coming God & KING. They will be united firmly together and with God at the culmination of all things birthing ultimate destiny, that of Heaven on Earth where eternal peace & righteousness will reign forever more.

My prayer is that we all would be accounted as the Remnant-Bride of Christ. This is my earnest desire, my passion and the hope of my calling and yours. Be blessed!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Smoke Screens, Deceptions and Perilous Times - Pt. 2

Smoke Screens, Deceptions, Perilous Times… Part 2
By Tamara “Tami” Blue

Where do I start? I guess to start I will say the intensity of what I am sensing and seeing is getting stronger and more blatant. I am one who always wants to encourage and edify others. I am a friendly, cheerful person for the most part. Yet, there is also a very serious exhorter side of me. I think it’s the part of me that I try to shove down not to appear or sound like a doom & gloom type of person. Through everything I know God is good and will use the bad for ultimate good. We have to remember that His warnings are stern and for our protection and good. My husband and my friends have said I am a “John and or Moses” in many ways; a voice crying out in the wilderness. Although, I’m not sure I quite have the boldness of John. But if you see me out in the desert/wilderness- come on by and give a friendly hug because it can be a very lonely place at times.

A couple of months ago I experienced a very bizarre moment that has not left my mind. I knew in part it was the enemy loud and clear. But I also know that God allowed that moment and is using it to keep me alert.

One Sunday after church a girlfriend and I were taking another close girlfriend out to lunch for her birthday. We went to a local mall and were attempting to find parking in one of the parking garages. My friend was driving and I was in the passenger’s seat. I was flagged down by a smiling woman in an SUV who apparently was getting ready to pull out of a parking spot. I thought it was very gracious of her and told my friend so we backed up and waited for what seemed to take some time for the lady & driver to pull out. The driver was a handsome young man and looked to be in his late teens or early 20’s and the lady passenger I thought was his mother, an older not terribly attractive woman. It appeared as if the driver was being taught to drive and struggled to figure out the vehicle. He finally manages to pull out of the spot but before he made the turn the woman once again flags at us to wait a minute. So we wait wondering why? Suddenly, the woman grabs the young man’s face and plants the longest most disgusting mouthful kiss on him right in front of us. A shock & awe type moment. She then waves a “goodbye” at us with a huge smile of satisfaction and off they went. To say we were stunned would not even adequately describe the myriad of thoughts going through our minds. And yes, we were utterly speechless, shaking our heads in bewilderment at what we just experienced. It had to be one of the oddest, most bizarre moments any of us had ever experienced. And all I could think was “why us??” It was bizarre, ugly and boldly blatant. And yet, I felt the Holy Spirit of God speaking to my spirit- “Remember this moment, because this is how the enemy will operate in the times to come”.

As I was just writing I felt led to look up the meaning of the restaurant we went to eat at (all agreeing in unison without first knowing that is where we all felt led to eat at). We ate at “Claim Jumper”. We know that “claim jumper” has to do with the Gold Rush. Yet, the dictionary definition is very interesting: 1) One who illegally occupies property to which another has a legal claim. 2) One who wrongfully or illegally seizes and holds the place of another. Wow… some interesting revelation there to ponder in regards the enemy of God and His children within the Church.

Three things have been very loud and repetitive in my spirit “Eyes & ears wide open, STAND, and Taste and see (that our eyes may be enlightened)”. This past week over and over again it has been “STAND!”.

I have experienced things in life that have created an alert system within me. I do believe that anything bad that we may have experienced God can and will use for our good and the good of others through us. And right now I can see some things filtering into the church at this moment and in the times to come. The free’er a church is the more prone to wrong spirits coming to seek to play and or fit in so to speak. I love the freedom within some of the churches around- it’s amazing and refreshing to see a joyful people, loving God, loving His presence and saturated in His goodness and striving in love for one another. But, there are as within life- those fine lines that we need to be aware of as not to cross, sometimes they are hard to decipher. We have to balance our freedom with sound doctrine, sound teaching and a sound lifestyle. We also need to constantly have eyes wide open to see and perceive the times we are in. We cannot constantly be in party mode with Jesus unfortunately. Man, oh man (or Jesus, oh Jesus) how I want to be and look forward to the day when we can be. But right now, we live in a very fallen world and there is negative stimuli everywhere; on our streets, in our schools, on television & radio, computer & video games… everywhere. There are ways, belief systems and negative forces all around us. The church is not exempt from these forces infiltrating. If we are not aware, discerning, watchful and careful we can fall prey without even realizing it. Our eyes, ears and discernment will grow dull if we do not stay alert and aware of what to watch for.

Father God spoke the following statements to Israel. The statements spoken are harsh rebukes but words of wisdom for us to help us along the path of this life lived in Christ Jesus:

“Israel failed to destroy the nations in the land, as the LORD had commanded them. Instead, they mingled among the pagans and adopted their evil customs. They worshipped their idols, which led to their downfall.” ~Psalm 106:34-36 NLT

“Come, descendants of Jacob, let us walk in the light of the LORD! For the LORD has rejected his people, the descendants of Jacob, because they have filled their land with practices from the East and with sorcerers, as the Philistines do. They have made alliances with pagans.” ~Isaiah 2:5-6

“The enemy has plundered her completely, taking every precious thing she owns. She has seen foreigners violate her sacred Temple, the place the LORD had forbidden them to enter.” ~Lamentations 1:10
*Context: The Babylonians stripped the temple of all its pleasant things, or ornaments. Jerusalem felt like a woman who had been ravished and robbed when the pagans entered the sacred temple.

“Ephraim has mixed himself among the peoples (foreign alliances and assimilating other cultural beliefs); Ephraim is a cake unturned. Aliens have devoured his strength, but he does not know it; yes, gray hairs are here and there on him, yet he does not know it. And the pride of Israel testifies to his face, but they do not turn to the LORD their God, nor seek Him for all this.” ~Hosea 7:8-10

I was raised in a family with a Grandmother and Aunt who were/are very interested and involved in the New Age, in Horoscopes (or as I like to refer to them “horror-scopes”), Meditations-chanting, Shirley McClain, etc… On the surface it seemed harmless though something inside of me (Jesus) always questioned it and felt something off/wrong about it.

My Grandma has always been one of the most beautiful women to me that I will ever know. I truly feel my Grandma was innocently naïve to her involvement in the New Age. She was raised in the Church, taught Sunday School and led women’s ministry (though I did not know this until 11 years ago). She saw the gifts the Lord had placed in me but she referred to them in New Age terms. She would often come to me asking me for insight, discernment to a situation and or people, what my “intuition” was telling me. She referred to me as “Psychic” and though she was trying to compliment me and edify the gifts within me, I always cringed when she would say that about me. Before I had an understanding of the prophetic, before I had a firm foundation in Christ somehow I knew to tell her “Grandma, psychics seek to profit from the information they give and I don’t believe in that. What I have is from God for His use, when He determines- not just something I can conjure up.” Though discernment has always come easily to me, it’s been a very needed over the years because of the traumatic childhood I experienced and the negative atmosphere that was constantly around me. It has been a gift of protection from potential worse situations, people…

My older half-Brother and Sister were raised by a mother who was a head leader within a cult. My younger brother followed an Eastern Indian Guru/cult leader for several years and though realized it was the wrong path for his life is still involved in many New Age beliefs & pursuits. My older Sister has shared with me about the bizarre lifestyle and beliefs they were raised in (she has a very strong distaste to what she was raised in and for good reason). Because of this, I have a knowledge that a lot of people within the church may not have or even be aware of. I first accepted Jesus at the age of 4 and truly, I kept Him within my heart always asking “well, what about Jesus?” when other things were presented to me. Through it all, I held on to my Jesus and came to know His truths, God’s truths via His Word and an ever growing relationship with Him. I am always seeking to make sure that what I get involved in spiritually has a proven biblical/Godly base.

In part, I am a revivalist with a shout in my spirit- “WAKE-UP!” I do not believe our gifts and things God has called us to are not limited to just one thing alone, they can be several things with one dominant aspect or several working together in unison. Regardless, these are truly perilous times, the earth groans and waits in eager expectation for the glorious appearing of our Lord, Jesus Christ (Romans 8:23-25). Wars, rumors of wars, earthquakes, famine, plagues, pestilence (Matthew 24-25)… and false teachers performing false signs, wonders and miracles are all over and among us, even within the Church! Jesus did not fellowship with such people but rather, rebuked them and or cast the demons out of them. We do not know the day, time, hour but we know time is only ramping to culmination. The Word of God says that in these times- even the elect will be misled, led astray by false prophets, false teachers, and wolves in sheep’s clothing (Matthew 7:15-22; 2 Thessalonians 2; 1 Timothy 4:1-5).

We cannot skip over these verses within the Bible; we must keep them near to us at all times. They are the fine lines that we need to be aware of that are meant to keep us alert and safe. We must STAND on and in God’s truth and not give way to false truths that seek to filter (infiltrate) into our congregations. We need to be aware of alliances, cultural belief systems, other religious views, cults, false teachings and not align ourselves with them. We need to research, test and seek the Bible regarding anything that is “New” that we’ve not heard of, even the things that are seemingly innocent and have a “Biblical” appearance. Be careful, very careful!

Going back to that woman and that young man… We were in need of a parking spot, God knew this but so did our adversary and he used that moment to utterly bewilder us in a moment of shock. We had no choice but to watch- it was a split second but a moment that seemed to have us stopped in time. It was right in front of our faces, it was blatant and it was unbelievably ugly, not to mention unwarranted. We will see (with eyes wide open) the similar (different scenarios yet similar shock, awe and ugliness) happen within the Church. Or may even have a smoke screen affect and by the time we realize what has happened it could be too late, recourse difficult. The word “smoke screen” in the dictionary means: 1) A mass of dense artificial smoke used to conceal military areas or operations from the enemy [or the saints]. 2) An action or statement used to conceal actual plans or intentions. 3) An action intended to conceal or confuse or obscure. 4) The activity of keeping something secret.

If we are not strong in the Word of God, we will likely not even be aware of the depth of deception filtering in. Even in things that appear to be of the Bible- remember there are people out there who are led by demons, they appear to be Christian, they use all the right terminology, wear the right gear, say the right things, worship in a way that appears to be to God, they may appear well learned in the Bible and even have credentials but underneath the façade/the sheep’s coat may be a person sent by our adversary to bring harm. Are you alert to some of the signs to watch for?

A friend wrote this statement: “Any psychology [thought, way, belief, new yet, old practice] that is against the Bible should not be thought of as truth by any God fearing person. The devil is full of ½ truths. Only God’s Word has true balance because to God a false balance is an abomination.” Some have said to me- “Oh, you have to take the good with the bad”, I say to that: we make choices to stand for good or for bad- we cannot have one leg on one side of the fence and one on the other. We must choose. You either stand for good or you stand for bad. To stand and put up with both is not of God. The Bible is written in black & red- powerful and to the point no shades of gray.

Be careful, be alert, eyes & ears wide open, stand strong on and in God’s Word. God tests our hearts to know if we truly believe in Him, He knows our thoughts and our motives. He is our example, our Teacher, and most of all our Heavenly Father who desires that none should perish. He lays out how some will fall away and perish, even those who were once strong in the Lord. He has shown us what to watch for and the leading up to His coming. May He find us alert, lamps trimmed and ready for His glorious appearing!

I pray that God would bless you and keep you; may His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you and may He keep you in perfect peace. May your walk be filled and empowered by Holy Spirit given wisdom, understanding, counsel, might and fear of the Lord. May your joy be full in Him! In Jesus Christ’s name (the name that is above all names) - AMEN!

Smoke Screens, Deceptions and Perilous Times - Pt. 1

I felt led to write this December '08.  I just felt led to re-read and still feel/sense the exhortation of what Holy Spirit was showing me then, now.  Yesterday, I felt led to write a Part 2 to this and will add that in another post.  Here is Part 1:

Smoke Screens, Deceptions and Perilous Times... in God let us STAND!

A warning and exhortation from the Word of God~


"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come:



For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women[and men] loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

Now as Jannes and Jambres resisted Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, disapproved concerning faith; but they will progress no further, for their folly will be manifest to all, as theirs also was.


BUT YOU- have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra - what persecutions I endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me.

Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.

But evil men[and women] and imposters will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived.

BUT YOU- must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

ALL Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man [and woman] may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.


I charge you therefore before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, who will judge the living and the dead at His appearing and His kingdom:

PREACH THE WORD! BE READY IN SEASON AND OUT OF SEASON! Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching.

For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables.

BUT YOU- be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry."
2 Timothy 3-4:5

Beloved Brothers and Sisters,

Do you feel the pressing of the times? Do you have eyes to see the schemes, lies, deceptions, smoke screens, hype, and things meant to cause mass hysteria? Do you see the attempts of those serving darkness, and the control they are attempting to instill upon mankind? The notion of recession is but a means to control and instill fear. Look beyond what you see in the natural. God has not been dethroned nor will He ever be. He is and always has been and forever will be in control of all things. But His word implores us to be alert and ever watchful:

“But take heed to yourselves, lest your hearts be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness, and cares of this life, and that Day come on you unexpectedly. For it will come as a snare on all those who dwell on the face of the whole earth.  Watch therefore, and pray always that you may be counted worthy to escape all these things that will come to pass, and to stand therefore before the Son of Man.” Luke 21:34-36

Our Lord Jesus said that these things are to happen yet the elect does not need to fear nor be deceived because we are One in and with Christ. Our Lord Jesus provides the way of deliverance by way of His love letter/book to us.

From time to time I get these warnings/promptings/exhortations fired in my spirit. This past week I felt the stirrings again but it took some time to connect the dots of what God was showing me and speaking to me. I often get visions, messages, words... from God but only see/hear in part much of the time. And, I pray always for the Holy Spirit to show me, teach me and guide me in regards to those things.

Today, I was lead to the above passage and the dots connected to what I was seeing in my spirit and hearing. I want to encourage you (because I am an encourager) to stand strong, united and tightly knit together that we may endure the days to come to fulfill our individual and corporate callings in Christ Jesus. We need each other. We need unity unlike every before. We cannot succeed in building our own kingdoms/selfish ambitions nor will God honor that. These times demand Unity among the body of believers in Christ. These times demand that we stand together, side by side, bearing with one another, building one another up and walking out this walk and calling together with each other united, brothers and sisters in Christ, sharing the same blood line through our Lord, our Savior, our King!

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus,…” Romans 15:5

“I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.

But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift. Therefore He says:

‘When He ascended on high, He led captivity captive, And gave gifts to men[and women].’

(Now this, ‘He ascended’ – what does it mean but that He also first descended into the lower parts of the earth? He who descended is also the One who ascended far above all the heavens, that He might fill all things.) And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men[and women], in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head – Christ- from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.” Ephesians 4:1-16

At this point in my writing I am hearing: “pray for the dunamis power of unity”. Pray and meditate upon the revelation of this.
May our eyes be enlightened and ever widened to the times and what God desires to show us. May we be filled with the Spirit of revelation, discernment, wisdom, knowledge and understanding given by way of Holy Spirit. May we not rely on the ways or word of man/women to get us through these times but may we rely on, turn to and trust the very Word of God and hold to His hope and promises. May we be as One in Christ by His dunamis power equipped to carry out the calling in which He has called us. I plead the blood of Jesus upon each person who reads these words. May we be fortified and strengthened to stand. Father God, hear my prayer, receive my prayer in the mighty and saving name of Jesus Christ my Lord. AMEN!

God bless each and every one of you!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The/Their Vision is Too Small

Forgive my delay in blogging more often and pray with me for ease of flow of writing (Thank you!). 

I was inspired by a post my Sister-in-law shared yesterday.  She has received some very exciting news and knowing her, I know this is long prayed for.  Yet, at the same time different than she imagined but no less an incredible and exciting blessing/opportunity coming her way.  Her excitement is a powerful testimony to the fact that no dream of ours is too big for the Lord.  He delights in blessing His children.  It may take more time than we most often like but if we continue in faith, belief & prayer, not losing hope in God's promises, God is sure to bless and answer in wonderful unimaginable ways. 

The Lord gave me a word a little over a year ago and my Sister-in-laws exciting news reminded me of that word.  It is one that I needed to be re-encouraged in and I pray it encourages you also. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths" Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV

“The Vision/Their Vision is too Small”
Written by Tami Blue as directed by Holy Spirit - 1/18/2010

While on at overnight mountain cabin get away with some other women the Holy Spirit spoke what I am about to share to me. The next morning the Lord really impressed upon me that I needed to go spend time with him alone on the dock of the lake. As the Holy Spirit had shown me the day before- the sky was bright blue, sun out and there was a warm wind despite it being January in the mountains. We had a storm blow through during the late night/early morning which knocked out power and blew tree limbs all over. But the next morning after the fog had lifted it was beautiful! While on the dock the wind was soft, yet hard but warm at the same time. And, with each blow of the wind revelation & words started to flow and I’d began writing.

I thought this word was specifically in regards to one person, but it spoke to my spirit and another’s also. But still I was not sure if I was to share any further. By Holy Spirit’s leading I ended up sharing (without fore-thought to share) with one friend who came to visit. It touched her deeply and she said to me that I needed to share it; I asked if she was serious and she said “yes”. I waited and asked the Lord for confirmation if indeed I was to share it… Today, my closest friend came to spend some time and again without fore-thought was led to share with her. And again- she first said “I need you to type this out, I want it!” and then “you need to share this!” So there it was- confirmation to share.

I pray this blesses you, please note that some words are capitalized and or all caps on purpose (as Holy Spirit highlighted then to me) pause on those words and some of the words there is double meaning…

“The vision is too small, Greater things than these say’s the Lord. Greater things- Nothing is too big- NOTHING!” He has seated us at the right hand – the RIGHT hand of favor, honor & blessing- Kings & Queens, as we commit/enter into that RIGHT hand of fellowship. The table is ABUNDANT, there are unimaginable delicacies – RIPE! The people perish for lack of vision – lack of sight. The VISION (their vision) is TOO SMALL! Open your eyes to see the vision of Heaven on earth for the King’s & Queen’s of the Most High sitting at the RIGHT hand of fellowship – the Beloved, highly favored – CHOSEN ONES. Open your eyes to see Heaven, Heaven manna-fested/feast as we open our eyes to see the vision – GREAT VISION, widen the vision for it is WIDE & GREAT say’s the LORD!” Our sight has been puny in comparison to the greatness of God and of Heaven!

The rest of this word was given in parts & pieces, as I said- at first I thought this was for a particular person and it was in part but applies to all of us…

Holy Spirit spoke to me that eagles nest in high places, the House/Body is one of Victory – Victory House and that we will cruise on victory… Then He showed me in a vision a large, very large tree with many eagles roosting together not vying for position or place- together as ONE resting at ease.

Then again the Lord showed me the reflection of light as it flickered on the water and said- “The end of the book is white, pure white, not black. Yet, to darkness it is blood red.” The revelation stirred my spirit that we are hidden in Christ, we are His Bride and clothed in white just as a bride wears a beautiful gown of white, victorious and pure white- yet when the enemy/darkness looks upon us it sees blood red, the Lamb’s blood.

Glory to God!

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